The Reddit user who didn’t invite his sister’s dog to the party was not wrong to want to exclude his sister from the event, two family therapists told Fox News Digital.
“AITA didn’t invite my sister to my party because she always brings her dog?” asked Reddit user “ThinkerofLimgrad” in a June 27 post on the “Am I the A-hole” subreddit.
In the post, the individual said he was a 26-year-old who was getting married in a few months.
“One of the problems I have is my sister (28F) and her dog,” he wrote.
“My sister is obsessed with dogs, a large and somewhat untrained Bernese mountain dog.” He added that the dog was “cute but evil.”
His sister “brought him everywhere, including family gatherings, even though many begged him not to,” the man wrote.
Previously, the dog had caused “a lot of trouble,” ThinkerofLimgrad said, including knocking over guests and destroying party decorations.
“At a family holiday dinner last year, he ate part of the turkey off the table when no one was looking,” the man wrote. “My sister always brushes it off, saying her dog is just energetic and friendly.”
When the soon-to-be-married man sent out the wedding invitations, he refused to include the dog in the invitation.
“I knew he would bring it if I just asked him not to, so I told him he couldn’t bring the dog and if he did he wouldn’t be allowed in,” she said – which made her sister. “furious.”
He “said if his dog wasn’t welcome, he wouldn’t come either” – and said he didn’t care about her happiness.
“My parents thought I should just let them take the dog in peace, but my fiance and I were adamant about it,” wrote ThinkerofLimgrad, adding that the couple “wanted our wedding to be a calm and beautiful day without chaos.”
He noted, “I have tried to compromise by suggesting that he find a sitter for the day, but he refuses and insists that his dog is part of the family.”
Fox News Digital reached out to ThinkerofLimgrad for an update on the situation.
Two family relationship experts told Fox News Digital on Thursday that the man was being unreasonable by excluding his sister’s dog from their wedding day — and that there may be a deeper problem than just the dog.
“This is a classic example of dysfunctional family dynamics,” Nina Batista, a Florida relationship and trauma therapist, said via email.
In addition, “there seems to be a lack of strong boundaries and respect for boundaries,” he said.
“In the end,” said Batista, “this is your wedding, today, you decide what you want and don’t want to tolerate.”
If ThinkerofLimgrad is okay with her sister not attending the party if her dog can’t make it, then she should “keep it real”, she said.
Other therapists echoed similar sentiments, saying the situation is not unique to dogs.
“It’s about family relationships and how we communicate our needs,” Brianna Paruolo, a New York-based therapist, said in an email.
People on Reddit “are right to set boundaries, but it’s normal to feel guilty,” Paruolo said.
When talking to his family, “it’s a good idea for (ThinkerofLimgrad) to use ‘I’ statements,” he said.
For example, they might say something like, ‘I want my wedding day to be special, and I’m worried about how the dog will affect me. Can we talk about how to make this work for everyone?’” Paruolo said.
Furthermore, “It may help to understand more deeply why this is such a big problem for the younger brother,” Paruolo said, as well as why the young man’s parents are on the sidelines.
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“Sometimes, small arguments like this are actually about bigger family issues that haven’t been discussed,” he said.
As the wedding day approaches, ThinkerofLimgrad must “continue to speak openly and honestly,” which can only “solve the dog’s problems and strengthen his relationship with his sister and his parents,” Paruolo said.
“Who knows? This wedding planning challenge can actually bring families closer together in the long run,” she said.
ThinkerofLimgrad’s story received more than 800 responses within hours of being posted – with most people saying they were innocent of wanting a dog-free wedding.
“NTA. ‘Keep calm.’ This simply means, ‘Your wishes are worthless and your sister’s wishes are everything.’ Your parents would rather have a happy family and a ruined party than the ‘bad blood’ they feel,” Reddit user “FuzzyMom2005” said in the reply above the post.
FuzzyMom2005 continued, “Ignore bullying. Get security to make it confident his sister was not seen at the wedding or the reception. Tell your parents that this is not your sister’s day and if they don’t see you, they can stay home too.
Other Reddit users encouraged ThinkerofLimgrad to keep believing.
“NTA – I love my dog and call him ‘my son,’ but there’s no way I’m bringing him to a party! Stay strong,” said user “UnfairMilk8555.”
“Also, your sister may need therapy. And your parents should also respect and honor you,” said the same comment.
“He should tell his sister that today is not about him, and if he wants to keep the peace, he should leave the dog at home.”
