-
Emily Kaplan, ESPN
PARIS — As captain of the U.S. women’s water polo team, which is building one of the greatest dynasties in the Olympics, 31-year-old Maggie Steffens prides herself on her laser focus. When he was in the Olympics, he was in a bubble. It was her, her friends and the pool.
But just days before the opening ceremony in Paris, Steffens received devastating news. Her sister-in-law, Lulu Conner, died accidentally of a medical emergency while in Paris to cheer her up. Conner is 26 years old.
“Lulu has been like a big sister to me for eight years,” Steffens said. “He brings joy to everyone around him. I also love that he brings people together, that’s what he is.”
Steffens is stunned, struggling to understand the unknowable, all before a tournament that defines his legacy. Her coach, Adam Krikorian, has some advice: Leave the Olympic Village and meet your family when you get to the airport.
On the ride over, Steffens texted his friends. “That’s my family too, that’s my sister,” Steffens said. “And I told them, ‘I feel like I’m going to play in the first Olympic games ever.’ Just the adrenaline of the moment, and wanting to make sure I could be there for him and hug him and be strong for him in that moment.
Unfortunately, Krikorian knew very well what a man in Steffens’ position needed at that time. Eight years ago, it was him. And in the team, he is not alone.
“It was really painful to see what Maggie went through,” goaltender Ashleigh Johnson said. “But unfortunately in this team, we have a lot of practice supporting each other.”
TIM is happy unparalleled success, which can be punctuated in Paris if he wins four straight gold medals. Team USA has lost just two Olympic games in the last 12 years. The only constants from the London 2012 team so far have been Krikorian and Steffens.
The 2024 team is also experiencing unprecedented attention. Steffens, who plays professionally in Spain, posted on social media in May about the fact that many of his teammates had to work second or third jobs to make ends meet – and to help fund nutrition, training and travel expenses. That caught the eye of Flavor Flav, who is unofficial hype man and official benefactor, donating an undisclosed amount to a five-year sponsorship deal. Flavor Flav has participated in every Olympic match so far and has brought First Lady Jill Biden, Spike Lee and other priceless exposure.
With the brighter spotlight it has long desired, America remains focused.
“Maggie and I were the only ones who were there from start to finish, so us talking about four is selfish,” Krikorian said. “He is not with us. Half the team is trying to do this for the first time. There are people wearing caps who have never stood on the podium, and we respect them as they are here. For the frame. the way that helps us stay in the moment .”
Staying current is a guiding force for Krikorian as a coach.
“Grieving can either tear you apart or bring you together,” Krikorian said. “Obviously it gives you perspective, but it also makes you appreciate the journey. Sometimes you lose yourself in this journey. We are competitive. We want to win, so bad. We want to be the best in the world. And then something like this happens, very tragically, and bring you back to Earth and your feet are a little heavy on the ground.
On the day Conner died, Krikorian looked at his phone and saw three missed calls from assistant coach Molly Cahill. Anytime Krikorian sees too many calls from the same person, he stops.
“Sometimes only my husband wants to clean me because I forget to sweep,” he said. “But whenever that happens, my mind goes straight to that.”
That place is Krikorian’s deepest trauma.
Two days before the opening ceremony at the 2016 Rio Olympics, Krikorian learned that his brother Blake had died. Krikorian called Blake his mentor, role model and best friend. Blake, 46, suffered a heart attack while surfing, leaving behind his college sweetheart, two daughters and a grieving family.
Krikorian flew to California for three days. He missed one Olympic game, before joining the team in Brazil. Looking at the present with the perspective of time, Krikorian pauses.
“It was wild, and still fresh, it was super emotional – obviously I wish he was still here, but also beautiful. It was a beautiful two weeks,” said Krikorian. “I don’t know if I had the same thoughts, three or four years ago, recognizing the beauty of the situation. But it’s true, because the memories flood back that take you back to your childhood.
“It brought our group closer. The care you showed me and what you did to support me at that time. But then there are times when the pain in your heart is indescribable. You just want no one to experience it, but unfortunately it’s part of life.”
KRIKORIAN AND STEFFENS it’s not just people who experience challenges. Three-time Olympian Maddie Musselman was supported in Paris by her husband, Pat. The couple met in 2022. In 2023, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. Four days later, with their worlds turning upside down, they married – relying on their support network.
“I feel fortunate that everyone on this team has been through so many different things,” Musselman said. “And with Maggie, she told me how much she wanted to be supported.”
Steffen’s request in Paris: He just wants to be around his friends. He doesn’t want to spend time alone. His leadership style is defined by this kind of concise communication.
“He’s important. He’s the voice that guides the team,” Johnson said of Steffens. “You can literally hear it in the water, you can hear it all the time. He anchors us through our plans and helps develop them. Confidence is one of the values of our team, but he embodies it every day in the way he approaches, understands and loves the game. It’s remind me why I play.”
The Americans have reached the quarterfinals, but the tournament has not been easy. They suffered a rare loss in group play to Spain – who executed a near-perfect game plan against the USA
Steffens has a clear understanding of what the team needs. “Spain outplayed us tremendously,” he said bluntly after the team bounced back with a 10-3 throttling of Italy. He talked about reminding his teammates to play the right game. When asked how he dealt with his personal tragedy, Steffens pointed to one word: teamwork.
“It’s a tough time, but so are the Olympics and everybody always has something to do,” Steffens said. “So I’m really thankful that I have friends here to support me. We have a huge superteam behind Lulu, making sure that we can make sure that we are bright as bright.
