Jennifer Lopez has broken her silence about her split from Ben Affleck after just two years of marriage and her second attempt at making things work after their first split in 2004.
The 55-year-old singer, who posed in a sexy leopard print outfit for the cover of Interview magazine published on Wednesday, described the turmoil as ‘sad’ and ‘scary.’
Going topless while taking risqué pictures, Jennifer talked to comedian Nikki Glaser about it his life ‘blows up’ in his face this year and life lessons still need to be learned, although he is careful not to mention Ben’s name.
Ben and Jennifer – affectionately nicknamed ‘Bennifer’ – split in April and she filed for divorce on August 20, which is also the two-year wedding anniversary.
The Hustlers star hinted that she had to be single again after leaving Ben: ‘You have to be healthy. You have to be complete, if you want something more complete.’
‘You have to be good yourself. I thought I was learning, but I wasn’t. Then, this summer, I had to be like, “I have to go and be myself. I want to prove that I can do it.”
But the entertainer has no regrets: ‘Not for a second. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t almost take me out for good. It’s almost over.’
Jennifer also said in an in-depth interview – for the publication’s 55th anniversary event – that she does not expect to date anyone else: ‘I’m not looking for anyone.’
Jennifer Lopez has broken her silence on Ben Affleck’s split after two years of marriage
The star, who modeled leopard print for the cover of Interview magazine to celebrate her 55th birthday, said it was ‘sad, scary’
When Nikki asked if the breakup was ‘hard,’ JLo replied: ‘Yeah, it’s f***ing hard!’
And he felt sad.
‘It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate,” the Can’t Get Enough singer said.
‘But if you sit in that feeling and say, “It’s not going to kill me,” like the truth is, I can be happy and happy on my own. Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I cannot look for happiness in others. I must have happiness in myself. I used to say that I’m a happy person, but I’m always looking for other people to fill me in, and I’m like, “No, I’m really good.”
When he told me his ‘lesson’ he said it was a ‘lifelong process.’
‘I think that I love about life, that there is no point of arrival,’ said the beauty of the Bronx.
‘There is only getting better and growing if you want to. It’s either grow or die, and I don’t want to do the dying part.
‘And yes, there were times when I thought I had it figured out, and then life went, “Let’s send you another thing and see if you get hit. Let’s see if you’ve really learned that lesson. And I didn’t.
‘I know now in a deeper way, that doesn’t mean I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, when your house explodes, you’re standing in the rubble, “How can I not let it happen again?”
The diva looked sensational in an animal print bikini as she spoke to Nikki Glaser about her crazy summer
The Atlas actress spoke about her life ‘blowing up’ in her face this year and the life lessons she still needs to learn even though she doesn’t use the name Ben.
Seen with Ben when they got engaged in 2003, left, and her at the Unstoppable premiere at TIFF, right.
‘Then you start checking a little bit by saying, “Okay, I did this, this is my part, this is what I should have seen at the beginning, this is what I didn’t see.” Those things are really lessons.’
Then again without giving the name of the end of her marriage to Affleck, she said that she did not study.
‘Work is self-awareness. It’s looking back at the bottom feelings and belief systems that we have about ourselves that make us make certain choices and create certain patterns in our lives,” he said.
‘And, when you get to the point where you think you’ve learned your lesson, and it blows up in your face again, you realize, “Okay, I haven’t, so what do I do. see now?” I would say, don’t stop looking inside, because it’s so easy to blame others.’
Then she said she had to be alone again after leaving Ben: ‘But you have to be healthy. You have to be complete, if you want more complete’
He added: ‘You have to be good on your own. I thought I was learning, but I wasn’t. Then, this summer, I had to be like, “I have to go and be myself. I want to prove to myself that I can do that”‘
When Nikki asked what was ‘hard,’ JLo replied: ‘Yeah, it’s f***ing hard!’
And he felt sad. ‘It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate,” the Can’t Get Enough singer said
Lopez then said that his disability should be loved very much as he has no ‘limits.’
‘People who really love you will help you heal that part. What I have learned about love is about safety. You make me feel safe, and when I’m less dignified, you understand me and you help me grow to be better, because you have boundaries and I have boundaries.’
When Glaser said: ‘Now, it’s like you have a new bar for people to come,’ Lopez shot back: ‘Here’s the problem: There’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anyone. How is this?’
Jennifer also said it was the first time she had ever said something like that as a single woman and added, ‘You know what? For those who are romantic and love to date and want to grow old with other people, we think, “I have to have something whole and happy.” And you don’t.
And he added it took 30 years to get to this place.
As far as all the negative comments about her divorce, she said she can handle it even though she is ‘not Teflon’ because sometimes it can hurt.
At the end of the interview, Nikki asked Jennifer again about the end of her marriage.
‘The pain you just went through, you don’t regret,’ Glaser said.
As far as Ben’s new movie Unstoppable, in which he has a role, he said it was ‘really beautiful.’ ‘I did the film because it’s an inspirational story, and it’s a Latino story’
‘Not for a second. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t almost take me out for good. It’s almost over. But now, on the other hand, I’m thinking, “F***, that’s exactly what I needed. Thank you, Lord. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry you had to do this for me so many times. I should have learn two or three times. You should hit me really hard over the head with a sledgehammer. You don’t have to do it again.”
Glaser then said, ‘You finally got it.’
The Maid In Manhattan actress agreed: ‘I finally got it! And by the way, that doesn’t mean I have it all figured out. Now I’m glad, when you say you’re just going alone. Well, I’m not looking for anyone, because everything I’ve done in the last 25, 30 years, in these different challenging situations, what I could have done if it was just me flying alone. ‘
Lopez also canceled her summer tour: ‘I’m happy, because it’s a very difficult time for me. Probably the hardest time of my life, but also the best time because I had to do the job for myself.’
As far as Ben’s new movie Unstoppable, in which he has a role, he said it was ‘really beautiful.’
“I did the film because it was an inspirational story, and it’s a Latino story. It’s about Anthony Robles, a wrestler who was born with one leg, and how he defied the odds in the sport. I played his mother, who had him when he was 16,” he said. .
And he saw the film at TIFF. ‘I got to see it all done for the first time with an audience in Toronto, and people loved it and responded to the emotion of the film. It’s one of those great inspirational stories that I think the world needs right now.’
