Deb Schmill has become a fixture on Capitol Hill. Last week alone, he visited the offices of 13 lawmakers, one of more than a dozen trips he has made from his home near Boston over the past two years.
In every meeting, Ms. Schmill spoke about her daughter Becca, who died in 2020 at the age of 18. Ms. Schmill said Becca had died after taking fentanyl-laced drugs bought on Facebook. Before that, she said, her daughter was raped by a boy she met online, then bullied her on Snapchat.
“I have to do what I can to help pass legislation to protect other children and to prevent what happened to Becca from happening to them,” Ms. Schmill, 60, said. “It’s a coping mechanism.”
Mrs. Schmill is among dozens of parents who are lobbying for the Kids Online Safety Act, or KOSA, a bill that requires social media, games and messaging apps to limit features that can heighten depression or bullying or lead to sexual exploitation. The bill, which has the most momentum among broad technology industry legislation in years, also requires technology services to enable the highest privacy and security settings by default for users under 17 and allows young people Opt out of some features that can lead to compulsive use.
Modeling themselves on the part of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, which pushed for a 1984 federal law mandating a minimum drinking age of 21, about 20 parents have formed a group called ParentsSOS. Like MADD members, parents brought photos of their children who they say died because of social media, and explained their personal tragedies to legislators.
Dozens of other parents have formed organizations to fight social media addiction, eating disorders and fentanyl poisoning. All pressure KOSA, swarming Capitol Hill to show how they say their children are harmed.
The bill, which kicks in in 2022, has bipartisan support in the Senate and is up for a vote. It recently passed the main vote of the House subcommittee. President Biden also supported the bill.
Dr Vivek Murthy, the US surgeon general, this week said social media had fueled an “emergency” mental health crisis among young people, adding momentum.
But KOSA still faces steep obstacles. Tech lobbyists and the American Civil Liberties Union are against it, saying it could undermine free speech. Others worry that limiting children’s access to social media may isolate vulnerable youth, including those in the LGBTQ community.
To increase the pressure as the August Congressional summer approaches, ParentsSOS launched a Father’s Day advertising campaign in Times Square, New York, and a commercial campaign on streaming TV. (Fairplay, a child advocacy nonprofit, and the Eating Disorders Coalition provided funding.)
“I’ve had friends say, ‘Just let’s move on and move on because it’s too painful,’ but I can’t keep quiet about what I’ve learned, which is that social media companies have no responsibility,” said Kristin. The bride, 57, lives in Oregon. Carson’s son died by suicide in 2020 at the age of 16 after what he said was a desperation through an anonymous messaging app linked to Snapchat.
Snap, X and Microsoft say they support KOSA.
“The safety of young people is an important priority, and we call on Congress to pass the Children’s Online Safety Act,” Snapchat’s parent company, Snap, said in a statement. Snap does not allow anonymous messaging apps to connect to its platform.
YouTube and Meta, which own Facebook and Instagram, declined to comment. TikTok did not respond to a request for comment.
Encourage parents to align with the global movement to manage teen safety online. The European Union’s Digital Services Act 2022 requires social media sites to block harmful content and limit the use of features that could lead to addictive use by youth. Last year, the UK introduced similar online safety laws for children.
Domestically, 45 state attorneys general have sued Meta for allegedly harming young users. Last year, 23 state legislatures adopted child safety laws, and this week New York adopted a law that limits social media platforms from using feed recommendations that can lead to compulsive consumption by users under 18.
Many parent-turned-lobbyists cited “The Social Dilemma,” a 2020 documentary about the harms of social media, as a call to action. He said he was also angered by revelations in 2021 by whistleblower Frances Haugen, a former Facebook employee who testified in Congress that the company was aware of the dangers to young people in its apps.
“The first time I realized it was the design, it was the company,” said Christine McComas, 59, who lives in Maryland. He said his daughter Grace died at the age of 15 by suicide in 2012 after being harassed on Twitter.
Many parents said the Center for Humane Technology, a non-profit organization that advocates for social media regulation and is part of the documentary, has reached out to them.
Maurine Molak’s son, David, died by suicide in 2016 at the age of 16 after what she said was cyberbullying on Instagram and messaging apps. Another son found an online memorial page for Grace McComas and encouraged his mother to get in touch with Ms. McComas. McComas via email.
Both mothers began calling and connecting with other parents. Ms. Molak has set up a foundation to educate the public about online bullying and push for state anti-bullying laws.
At the start of 2022, some parents have worked with Fairplay to push for national child safety legislation. That February, Senators Richard Blumenthal, Democrat of Connecticut, and Marsha Blackburn, Republican of Tennessee, introduced KOSA.
Early but modest support, it made its way out of a Senate committee before stalling for months. Growing impatient, some parents showed up on Capitol Hill in November. The Mother of the Bride and other parents said they had gone into the office of Senator Maria Cantwell, chairwoman of the Washington Democratic and Commerce Committee, and asked for a meeting. He met them the next day.
Ms. Cantwell was seen moved and rubbed the back of some parents when they talked about their children, Ms. Bride said.
“You have to look at us and understand that our children are no longer with us, and have got someone,” said the Bride. Ms. Cantwell’s office declined to comment.
Mrs. Cantwell was a vocal supporter of the bill, then tried to attach it to the spending bill last year, which failed.
For much of the past year, the bill has been held up, in part because of concerns that the language requiring companies to design their sites to protect children was unclear. Some lawmakers also worry that the bill would give the attorney general too much power to police certain content, a potential political weapon.
Disheartened, the parents called each other to keep their spirits up. In September, Ms. Schmill rents a short-term apartment 10 minutes’ walk from the Capitol. He changed in and out of the sneakers he carried in a canvas bag as he visited the offices of nearly all 100 senators to tell them about Becca.
“When I think about facing another year of birth dates and death dates, so that I can complete another birthday, I have to feel that I have to do something productive in his memory,” said Ms. Schmiel.
Late last year, around the time the Senate Judiciary Committee announced its January hearings on child safety with tech executives, parents decided to form ParentsSOS. The initiative, which is intended to help them gain more support for KOSA, is funded by Fairplay and the Ms. Molak focuses on cyberbullying.
Parents – communicating by email and text and via Zoom – decided to go to the child safety hearing to confront executives from Discord, Meta, Snap, TikTok and X with photos of their children.
At the hearing, Senator Josh Hawley, Republican of Missouri, tried to force Mark Zuckerberg, the chief executive of Meta, to apologize to the parents. Mr Zuckerberg went to his parents and said he was “sorry for everything you’ve done.”
Todd Minor, a ParentsSOS member who attended, said an apology was not forthcoming. His 12-year-old son, Matthew, died in 2019 after taking part, Mr Minor said, in a “blackout challenge” on TikTok, in which someone choked.
“We need KOSA. It’s very easy,” said the 48-year-old Mr. Minor.
Parents then met with the leader of the Senate, Chuck Schumer, Democrat of New York, who promised to bring KOSA to a floor vote on June 20, according to Ms. Schmill and others at the meeting.
In April, the House introduced a companion bill.
Mrs. Molak, 61, a San Antonio resident, met with Representative Randy Weber, Republican of Texas, last month to talk about his son David.
“Why am I not on this bill? Come on!” Mr. Weber, a member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, spoke to staff during the meeting, according to Ms. Molak. Mr. Weber’s office did not respond to a request for comment.
But progress on the committee stalled this month. The Senate version of the bill still faces opposition.
Mrs. Schmill and three of his other parents trekked back to the Capitol again last week.
“I have to stay busy, to keep trying,” Ms. Schmill said.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources.
