The Reddit user who caused family drama after refusing to push his “fat cousin in a wheelchair” over the weekend did nothing wrong by pointing out the impracticality of the plan, say therapists as well as other social media users.
“AITA won’t push my fat brother in a wheelchair for a day?” asked “OneSoreSpine” in a June 28 post on the “Am I the A–hole” subreddit.
The poster also told Fox News Digital on Saturday, “I didn’t expect much of a response” to the personal drama.
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The poster, who did not specify his age or gender, said his brother is close to 600 pounds and uses a mobility scooter. Cousins ​​can’t walk without pain, the poster wrote.
“In July, he (cousin) had a wedding abroad, and I was asked to drive him to and from the event, as I am currently out of work so my calendar is open,” OneSoreSpine said.
This, however, has led to other problems. The mobility scooter can’t fit in OneSoreSpine’s car, a Kia Optima — “so my cousin has to use a wheelchair,” the man wrote.
“The problem is that this event is held in a public park. I can barely push a wheelchair on a paved surface, let alone on grass and dirt,” said OneSoreSpine.
In an attempt to solve the problem, the Reddit poster tried to contact a local medical equipment agency, “but they will not rent the scooter in this case due to off-road use.”
“I can barely push my wheelchair on paved surfaces, let alone on grass and dirt.”
Wrote OneSoreSpine, “My aunt and uncle also refused to lend me a truck, as my brothers usually do… I have a good (bad) driving history.
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The cousin’s father apparently has health problems that prevent him from driving, while his mother can’t take time off from work.
“I’m looking to rent a vehicle that can carry a scooter, but my brother can’t afford it and, obviously… being unemployed, I can’t either,” said OneSoreSpine.
But the wedding party came up with an alternative solution. But OneSoreSpine said his brother didn’t like the idea.
“About the best solution anyone has come up with is for the party to have a flat bed (trailer) that they use to carry things from the car, but my cousin said she would feel embarrassed rolling it like that,” Reddit. shared poster.
“My brother said he would feel humiliated if he had to be rolled like that.”
“My brother,” OneSoreSpine said, “was furious with me, saying I embarrassed him by saying I couldn’t push him, but I think that’s being honest.”
Added one person on Reddit, “My brother has done so many things for me that I feel like I shouldn’t say it, but I think I’ve seen all my options at this point.”
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The man then asked another person on the platform, “AITA doesn’t want to just try to go to college?” The poster also asked other Reddit users to stop making derogatory comments about their brother.
‘Important business’
A therapist who specializes in eating disorders and body image told Fox News Digital on Saturday that he believes the Reddit user has done everything he can to deal with the situation — and that the cousin’s reaction is a form of projecting feelings of helplessness.
“It seems like the author has come up with a unique way to help the cousins, which is amazing,” Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital via email.
OneSoreSpine “obviously wants to give back for all the ways (the cousins) have helped him,” Goldberg said, adding that Reddit users’ “empathy is evident.”
Said Goldberg, “I think the best approach for (OneSoreSpine) is to have an honest conversation, or maybe text first to give the cousin time to digest the information.”
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OneSoreSpine “can say something like, ‘I really want to support you in this, and I will continue to support you in other ways, but I feel limited in this situation and can’t help if we don’t find a different solution,'” suggested Goldberg. “‘I’m sorry, and it hurts me to have to turn you down. I’ve tried various ways to make this work, but I’ve come up short. Please let me know if you have any other ideas or if I can help in any other unrelated way with a party.'”
“Instead of looking for challenges ourselves, it may be easier to blame others.”
His brother’s reaction when he was told that OneSoreSpine couldn’t push him “maybe because it was hard to admit he couldn’t attend the wedding because of the restrictions,” Goldberg said.
He added, “Instead of looking for one’s own challenges, it may be easier to blame others.”
Reddit users agreed with the sentiment. In more than 3,000 replies to the post, almost all said OneSoreSpine was wrong when he said he couldn’t push his brother in a wheelchair.
“Honestly, you sound like you’ve tried every possible solution. I don’t understand why your cousin is mad at you,” said Reddit user “Having-hope3594” in one of the top comments.
“It’s also a security issue.”
Many Reddit users have shared stories of when they had to help their family members use a wheelchair – and how it physically affected them.
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“NTA. It’s also a safety issue,” said user Mental-Coconut-7854 in another top comment.
The same commenter continued, “My brother pushed my mother (150 lbs) around the road fair on a relatively decent sidewalk and felt it on her back for a few days. It’s also her safety. If you struggle with the wheelchair, she can fall. out it.”
Others pointed out that a car like the Kia Optima is simply not built to handle a weight of 600 kilograms over one wheel.
“Unless you have a pickup, and he’s riding in the back, your car isn’t built for that kind of heavy duty,” said Reddit user “Rare-City6847.”
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“Maybe this could be her wake-up call? She’s too big to attend a party,” added Rare-City6847.
In response to Fox News Digital’s outreach, OneSoreSpine said he had no updates to share about the situation, other than the pain he still has from his brother’s reaction.
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“I wasn’t expecting a lot of answers and felt bad because I wanted to be able to answer people’s questions when they were asked,” OneSoreSpine told Fox News Digital.
“But I obviously really appreciate the encouragement and some of the feedback I’ve gotten on things I haven’t considered.”