Nicola Bulley’s partner has described the social media focus and online obsession with her disappearance as a “monster” out of control.
Speaking publicly for the first time since Nicola’s body was found, Paul Ansell told the BBC the family felt the initial wave of interest in the case was positive.
He hoped that would force Lancashire Police to continue looking for him, he said. But it was quickly overtaken by a wave of amateur social media sleuths, posting hurtful and misleading statements about the case – with the family suffering online hate.
“I think that kind of thing is a double-edged sword,” he added. “That’s the problem. You’re poking a monster.”
The Lancashire mum-of-two went missing on 27 January 2023 while walking her dog in St Michael’s in Wyre, shortly after dropping her children off at school.
His body was found in the river on February 19 and an inquest in June last year found he died of accidental drowning.
A documentary, called The Search For Nicola Bulleyexplores media coverage and the influence of amateur internet sleuths who carry out their own investigations, as well as hearing from Lancashire Police and Nicola’s family.
On Friday morning he disappeared “normally”, Paul told the documentary.
She said Nicola left at about 08:30 to take her two children to school with the family dog, Willow.
When he didn’t return at the usual time, Paul said he wasn’t too worried. But around 10:30 the school called the kids that someone had found Nicola’s dog and phone on the bench.
“I mean, it wasn’t a normal phone call,” he told the documentary. “He won’t leave Willow.”
She said she knew “something wasn’t right here” and remembers having a panic attack.
“That’s what you feel like on your leg. In a situation like that, your mind goes really crazy. I called the police when I was driving.”
“On Friday, I was just sitting at my desk, and I got a call from Paul,” Louise Cunningham, Nicola’s sister told the documentary. “And he panicked and panicked, and he was like, ‘something’s going on, something’s weird.
The documentary hears the upheaval experienced by the family as the search for Nicola intensifies – and the impact it has on Nicola and Paul’s young children.
“One morning I woke up,” Nicola’s mother, Dorothy, told the programme. “The youngest, he said: ‘It’s cold, isn’t it, Miss?’ He said: ‘I hope mum is not cold and hungry’.”
“Nights were the hardest,” Paul recalled of the search.
“It used to be until 3pm and then I panicked because I knew it would be dark for an hour. So we had an hour to find him.
“And then of course I had the girls. The first time they did it when they got out of school ran over and said ‘have we met mom?’
As the search for Nicola continues, so-called ‘amateur detectives’ begin traveling to Lancashire to see what they can find.
As interest in the case grew, the police became increasingly concerned that it might interfere with the investigation.
At the same time, the amount of online hate focused on the family began to worsen.
“I get direct messages from people I’ve never met – they don’t know me, they don’t know us, they don’t know Nicky,” Paul says now.
He was told “you can’t hide” and “we know what you’re doing”. Unable to answer, he said he felt “silenced”.
“On top of the nightmare trauma we’ve been through, then to think that all these horrible things were said about me to Nicky – everyone has their limits.”
Days before she was found, Lancashire Police told the public Nicola had a “significant problem” with alcohol caused by her ongoing struggle with menopause.
“It’s not unusual to be young,” Louise says in the documentary. “But Nicky has been difficult. Then, I guess, over a period of three weeks in total, he just wasn’t functioning like a normal Nicky.”
Paul explained how Nicola had trouble sleeping. “The lack of sleep, the irritability, the brain fog – he would wake up for hours at night, the hot sweats every day. Everything was difficult.”
The family said Nicola stopped taking HRT during that time and started drinking to cope.
“It’s literally normal, a strange blip. That’s the most honest answer I can give you,” says Louise.
The police officer investigating Nicola’s disappearance felt the need to release personal information about her struggles with menopause and drinking.
“Because of the comments coming out on social media, Paul is just the key to a lot of people’s theories, and we have to reject them,” said Det Supt Rebecca Smith, who played a key role in the investigation.
The family were not happy about Nicola’s alcoholism and menopause struggles being revealed to the public, with Paul saying Nicola would be “mortified” at the information being shared.
“As again, no, in the media,” recalls Louise. Nicola’s family criticized sections of the press for their “absolutely appalling” behavior.
The family’s worst fears came true on February 19, three weeks after Nicola disappeared, when the police were called to a report of a body in the River Wyre.
Visibly upset, Det Supt Smith told the documentary about the moment Nicola was found and described sitting in the police tent with her body “for quite a while until she was taken to hospital.”
Reliving the moment the family was informed about Nicola’s body that was found, Louise said: “I will never forget my father coming to the kitchen. Like, completely broken down and Paul out in the garden.
“I’ll never forget the tears,” said Nicola’s father Ernest, who described hugging his son Paul as he tried to process the devastating news.
Last year, the coroner ruled Bulley’s death accidental, saying he had fallen into the river and suffered “cold water shock”, and that there was “no evidence” to suggest suicide.
Police accused people on TikTok of “playing private detective” in the area, and said they were “inundated with false information, accusations and rumours” related to the case.
“It doesn’t always have to be related to what happened,” Louise said.
“Sometimes bad things happen. I just wish it didn’t happen to us. We’re just a normal family. We’ve been through some really tough times.”
Paul said he still sees Nicola in the face of the two daughters of the couple.
“I see them in girls every day. I see all these little mannerisms in them and I’m like ‘that’s Mummy, you know?’ And it’s all worth it, I think.
- The Search for Nicola Bulley will be broadcast on BBC One on 3 October at 9pm BST and on BBC iPlayer
