Wedding planner and venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps you solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in our weekly column.
Dear Alison,
I have been a bad friend. Before my friend’s wedding, I asked her if there will be one person there and she said that pretty much everyone is taken, except for the best person – she is now-husband’s sister – and he is limited as his family.
So what do I do? Well, you can guess.
My friend, understandably, was quite annoyed and said that I had crossed the line and was clearly disrespecting him.
In defense, there is a free bar and all the love in the air etc. And honestly, it’s just sex. Is it really that big of a deal? From what I can gather, the sisters don’t get their ears.
But I want to make it right with him. Do you have any tips?
thanks,
Maria
Do you have a wedding problem you need advice?
Weddings are exciting events – but also very stressful. Whether you are the groom or the bride, the lady or the best man, a family member or a friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very stressful.
If you need help with your problems, Alison, who has been hosting and helping couples plan their weddings for 10 years, is here to help.
Email platform@metro.co.uk to share your concerns anonymously with Alison and get them resolved.
Dear Mary,
Weddings are emotional, high-energy events and, as we all know, the combination of free drinks and a romantic atmosphere can sometimes lead to decisions you may regret after the event!
Indeed, while you appreciate that the meeting is not a problem for you and it is of no use, you should know that he has crossed the line for your friend.
Your friend has confided in you before, and has made it clear that her brother-in-law is off limits. So, from her point of view, it’s not just fun but a sign of disrespect.
Above all, you crossed this border on the most important day of his life, which would explain why he was so tired.
If someone goes against your will on your wedding day, I’m sure you’ll feel it too.
Even if your brother-in-law doesn’t face the same level of scrutiny, remember that friendships are built on trust and respect, and your friend will feel that you are ruining them.
It may feel unfair, but his relationship with you is different than his. You are her friend, someone she trusts to respect her wishes, which means that your actions may be more personal to her.
Also, they talk directly to you, and they may not tell you that you are off limits. Him sleeping with you might not sting in the same way.
The most important thing you can do right now is to make things right with your partner.
My sincere and honest apologies. Acknowledge her feelings and try to see the situation from her point of view.
Listen to their thoughts on why it’s a problem – they may see sex differently and you can appreciate that.
Then let them know you understand why they are hurt and how your actions caused them to be hurt. Explain that you didn’t do it to hurt him – you were just in the heat of the moment.
Let her know you value the friendship and hope you can rebuild trust – reassure her that your friendship is important to her and something she wants to rebuild.
You may need to give them some time – doing this can show that you are committed to making it right.
At the end of the day, adults make their own decisions.
You mess up, but you can control how you handle your role and your willingness to make mistakes.
Good luck.
good night,
Alison
Do you have a story you want to share? Email jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
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