Our 1-year-old beagle, Philly, keeps stealing socks, tries to eat horse manure in the morning, and can be as stubborn as a hot summer dome. But I’m glad this dog I chose to adopt six months ago, and I owe everything to the well of wisdom that deepens as you age.
The dog I wanted was a newborn puppy, but when I entered the paper, he peed on the floor, ran through a puddle and splashed in my lap.
As a young man, I had thrown caution to the wind and brought him home, threatening marriage and the carpet. But as an adult who looks like this is just wet pants, I stopped the adoption process, and later met Philly, who is older than the first dog, and house-trained, Sort of.
I tell you this because there are lots of grim news to report when you’re on the old beat, and I’ve done a lot of that. But getting old isn’t all bad. You have a stupid decision that you regret a lot to learn, and you keep getting smarter.
Common sense is not the only benefit of aging. The other day, I asked my wife if she had any thoughts on the subject, and she immediately came up with two things. At your age, Alison says, you don’t care what other people think about you.
Couldn’t agree more.
And No. 2, Alison said, you get over the fear of missing out, which some people seem to be referring to FOMO.
Well true, but enough with the acronyms. And I can talk about FOMO because speaking your mind is another BOGO (benefits for getting old).
I must confess, that I have stolen the idea for this column, with Oscar Wilde’s reasoning that “imitation is the sincerest form of praise.” The Longevity Project publishes a delightful weekly newsletter called “Three Bad Things About Aging and Longevity,” a collection of bits and verses about medical breakthroughs, personal achievements and more.
Some examples:
The newsletter is affiliated with the Harvard School of Public Health learn which looks at happiness and life satisfaction, meaning and purpose, and close social relationships. Findings? As the newsletter says: “The older you are, the better you are, often a little longer.”
Another installment reports that “living to 100 is becoming increasingly common – by mid-century, the UN projects there will be 3.7 million centenarians worldwide – and the idea of a healthy and active centenarian is becoming. more normal.”
As with most such news, there is a flip side to the ever-increasing ranks of the century club, which is that Social Security checks can bounce and the number of annoying drug ads on TV can triple. But the Longevity Project, established five years ago in conjunction with the Stanford Center on Longevity, is all about highlighting research and sparking conversations that explore all the challenges and opportunities associated with aging.
For the newsletter, which was launched 18 months ago, Longevity Project founder Ken Stern told us that the idea is to educate and entertain, and maybe even inspire.
“The most exciting stories are people who do interesting things in the second and third chapters,” Stern said. Especially if they’ve found something useful, instead of sitting around watching their toenails turn yellow.
Stern cites, as an example, the story of a retiree named Randy Yamada, the often shirtless 70-year-old unofficial mayor of the community of Royal Kunia, Hawaii, northwest of Honolulu. Yamada spends his days looking after his neighbors, watering the lawn and repairing the broken ones.
“It may not be fair – these people can live in Kunia and have their own neighborhood concierge – but it’s really cool,” the newsletter said. “Good for the neighbors, good for the spirit of the environment and good for the mayor,” who told Island News that “taking care of the environment makes them old.”
One of the reasons the newsletter appealed to me is that my own inbox is filled with “not so good” examples of aging. For example, isolation is said to be a public health epidemic among the elderly, but I will meet soon with Los Angeles Rabbi Laura Geller, who sent me an email about the solutions she has implemented. They have established what is known in the emerging national movement as “virtual villages,” where parents are connected to care for each other and find purpose in community causes.
Geller launched ChaivillageLA, bringing together members of Temple Isaiah and Temple Emanuel, and he is using the same model to connect parents in the San Fernando Valley and New York. There are a few dozen such collaborations in California, and you can find one in your area at VillageMovementCalifornia.org.
Another bad thing about getting older is that birthday parties get better. This may be because the younger members of the family are afraid that everyone might be the last, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, even if you don’t have the lung capacity to blow out all those candles.
Carlos E. Cortes, professor emeritus of history at UC Riverside, wrote to me that he recently turned 90, still teaches part time, and hikes three miles six days a week. He also submitted a column he wrote for the American Diversity Report about the 90th bash.
“The older I get, the more I enjoy celebrating my birthday,” Cortes wrote, saying she rebuffed her daughter’s attempts to throw a party. He insisted, and the result was a year of planning for an epic celebration that included a book and film about his life.
“Family has always been important to me. But it means nothing more than during the glorious 366 days (with a leap year) in the year 89, highlighted by some of the best conversations with family and friends that I have had in many years,” wrote Cortes in the column mentioned. “So save the date, April 6, 2034, when I turn 100.”
And that’s the end of the bad stuff. It comes from actor Dirk Blocker (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” etc.), whose father, Dan, played Hoss on “Bonanza.” Blocker had emailed me about a column about the life adventures of Morrie Markoff — machinist, appliance repairman, photographer, sculptor, author — and his eventual death at 110, and I asked him if he had any optimistic thoughts about aging.
Blocker posted three.
First, mellowing: “Like loose skin, the perception of certainty and control has reduced stress and increased capacity for patience, empathy and understanding.”
Second, it’s not too late: “I have time … for things that I used to see as luxuries … I play the guitar and my fear of singing in public seems to have disappeared, like, who cares what other people think? “
Third, you deserve it, so don’t: “Naps. A simple but refreshing restorative indulgence after lunch, I love it.”
I like all three of them.
And now here’s homework for the rest of you:
Send me a good thing or two about aging, other than senior discounts.
Make it three, and you can sleep.
steve.lopez@latimes.com
