Two years ago, Kirsti Hadley was a successful self-employed “workaholic”, working with international clients such as Google, Nike and Samsung.
However, the single mother said she was forced to give up her job to look after her son and was “just holding on to my house by the skin of my teeth”.
Her 13-year-old son has been diagnosed with autism, ADHD and OCD and she is struggling to adapt to the transition from primary to secondary school.
Miss Hadley, from Brighton, said the lack of appropriate provision for children with special educational needs and disabilities (Send) in her son’s secondary school left her with no choice but to withdraw people from education.
Despite years of trying, she told the BBC she was unable to deliver an education, health and care plan (EHCP) – the legal document that requires councils to meet the needs of children or young people.
His time out of school shook his son’s confidence and left him feeling “broken”.
The school has since created a Family Forum “to support all students”, and the head teacher added that the whole school “supports very high needs with very few resources”.
A spokesman for Brighton & Hove City Council said it was “committed to working with families to provide the most appropriate education for local children and to identify additional support”.
When her son was away from school, Miss Hadley was unable to work.
At the same time his finances began to dwindle, he began to struggle with his mental health.
“The downward spiral is so fast that you can get whiplash,” the 51-year-old said.
It means Miss Hadley – who describes her business as her “second baby” – now relies on the benefits to support her family and pay the mortgage.
“I don’t think we should be in that position in the public purse.”
Miss Hadley’s son has started school again this term – and she is hoping to get back to work – but she added “there needs to be a solution” for parents of children with postings in the UK.
“It’s horrible,” she said.
Miss Hadley spoke about her experience in front of her Woman’s Hour viewers live on Wednesdays, where experts, parents and children themselves were invited to talk about Send provision in schools across the UK.
A survey by the BBC Radio 4 program suggested that 73% of mothers think that the various Post systems in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland are broken.
School standards minister Catherine McKinnell told Woman’s Hour that the government wants to “put education back at the heart of the nation”.
“By doing this, we get the right education for everyone and get the best for every child,” he said.
Some parents told BBC News about their better experiences.
Nigel Stansbie, from Burnopfield in County Durham, said he accepted there were problems elsewhere, but his own family’s experience had been “very positive”.
Their eight-year-old son, who has Down’s syndrome, is in Year 4, and has received a lot of educational support from the local authority since birth.
“We had constant communication with him – he had one-to-one from day one,” he told BBC Radio 5 Live.
“We are not in a particularly rich part of the country up in County Durham, but the school has actually managed to fund (additional needs) without EHCP.”
‘I have to sit my A-levels now’
On the other hand, 17-year-old Katie Nellist – who is autistic – told Woman’s Hour the school system “completely ruined” her life.
In primary school, before she was diagnosed, Katie began to “really struggle” with the “pressure” of year 6 exams.
She says school leaders have tried to help her, but she hasn’t gotten the support she needs — and has since been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, which she says is related to her time there.
Katie’s primary school said it “always works hard to take the pressure off children” during exams and “fully supported” her decision not to take Sats.
The head teacher added the school remained “proud” of Katie and “the way she acted as an outstanding advocate for young people with Send”.
Katie later struggled to cope with the “crowded, and loud, and busy” high school environment. Although he said the school was supportive, he was “totally broken” by a mental health crisis, after three months.
She then tried to find a place at a specialist school for children with Send – only to be told by the council that all suitable places were full.
A spokesman for Oxfordshire County Council said it could not comment on individual cases.
“Fighting every step of the way is very difficult,” Katie said.
He added that the county council – which is responsible for ensuring children in the area receive a proper education – “failed” to help them.
Katie tried several other alternative schools, which also “didn’t work”, and has now been given an EHCP which determines she must continue her education outside of school.
Although she is currently studying to become a riding instructor, she wants to still go to school.
“I should be sitting A-levels now but I’m not,” she said.
“It’s not good enough because I know I’m smart and I want to learn.”