Edmundo Sosa and Phillies teammate Brandon Marsh after a game against the New York Mets in May.
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Mitchell Leff/Getty
Look, I love it The Bear, but not relaxing. I love true crime documentaries, but sometimes they want to live in a locked safe. And I love love stories, but kissing is not for everyone. So what is my watch this summer in a world of endless auteur choices and on-demand productions?
Baseball.
Tuesday night is the All-Star Game, where the best players from the American League and the National League face each other. It’s a chance to see a many of the very players together, and perhaps you can use it to kick off yourself (very) Hot Baseball Summer. Why should you do this?
1. Baseball is a low-stakes game.
I am writing this the day after my beloved team, the Philadelphia Phillies (who have the best record in baseball), lost to the Oakland A’s (who have one of the worst records in baseball). It’s not a squeaker; we lost 18-3. I’m not discouraged, though, because we played 162 regular season games. No regular season game is going to ruin your season, even if you lose by a couple of touchdowns.
2. They are made faster!
Baseball has a reputation for being laid-back. Or, boring. I consider this a strength, because when it’s 100 degrees outside and as humid as a tropical jungle enclosure at a zoo, my own pace slows. I don’t want nonstop action. But if you like something faster, the new pitch clock and limit on pickoff attempts means less waiting. Perhaps it becomes more difficult for the organists who play “duh-duh-duh-duh da-duuuh, CHARGE!”, but every advance involves sacrifice.
Shohei Ohtani after his hit on July 12, he drove in a one-run double in the ninth inning against the Detroit Tigers.
Duane Burleson/AP
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Duane Burleson/AP
3. Shohei Ohtani.
For decades, there was a widespread suspicion that we would never see an elite hitter who was also an elite pitcher. Then Shohei Ohtani showed up, and it was two of them. Unfortunately, due to an elbow injury, he will not play this year; he is the Dodgers’ designated hitter. But he might go up next year, and even if he doesn’t, he’s a lot of fun to watch, and not just because the Dodgers are paying him $700 million over ten years, so, you know. Expectations are high. He’s a historical player, regardless. (In general, it’s incredible when pitchers hit. Just ask Bartolo Colón, who hit his first home run for the Mets at age 42.)
4. The power has shifted.
Any sport needs a few teams, or it gets boring. Both the Red Sox and the Cubs, perhaps baseball’s most famous factory of misery, have won the World Series in the modern era. And this season, the Milwaukee Brewers and Cleveland Guardians – not exactly perennial powerhouses – are both strong. Most importantly, the Yankees are not all that good (especially at the moment), and that makes any season more interesting and open.
5. Don’t have a team? Borrow me!
The other night, I watched the Phillies win, and during the postgame interview with outfielder Brandon Marsh, a couple of friends threw drinks at him – no big deal, it happens all the time. But then they handed him Uncrustable, who tore like a lion while talking to the announcer. Anyone can get Gatorade over their head; who eats Uncrustable? abide apart clip of someone asking who would be in a rock band if the Phillies started one, and what it would be called. He named some guys, then said the name of the band would be Stay Loose and Sexy, Baby. This is useless, but it looks good on the shirt. How do I know? Obviously because I said shirt!
My team is quirky and funny and full of personality – and they’re good too. If you’ve never watched baseball and you’re willing to give it a try, or if you’ve been missing it and want to get back to it, why not borrow my great team? I mean, the Phillies’ “himbo culture” — including the way they dress — has even been the subject of an investigation. They have to do it right.
