I hate the beach but a £13 trip to one of England’s ‘worst beach towns’ changed my mind

When the second of the three pigeons landed on my hotel room bed, having soiled my lovely room with poo and feathers, I realized that I might, if I were by the sea, be damned.

What sin did I commit in my past life that meant that every time I indulged in the classic British tradition of sea, sand, ice cream, chips and pastimes, a combination of unlucky and crazy birds followed me?

But before I delve into the Hitchcockian history with the sea, some context: I went a few days to visit Great Yarmouth in midsummer, the jewel sometimes suspected in the crown of the location of the English sea, sometimes neglected because of the glamor of such a big name. Brighton or Bournemouth.

I will admit before I was skeptical. After all, it’s only this year, right? named Great Yarmouth as one of the worst seaside towns to visit, rated low by visitors, along with Blackpool and Skegness, and receiving an overall destination score of just 51%.

I also don’t have a great history of coastal travel – even though I’m from a coastal town. Well, kind of. I was brought up in Gourock on the banks of the River Clyde in Scotland. But despite having a highly-rated outdoor swimming pool, it was never considered as at seaside destination.

In Glasgow and the surrounding area – the title goes to Largs, down the road – and it was a fateful visit there I first developed a borderline phobia of traveling to the coast.

One day in 2009, I lost my job, decided to travel to Largs for a break, and within an hour, I was attacked by seagulls until they drew blood, and there they were. A minor car accident that gave me whiplash and obviously I missed out on seeing Bruce Springsteen.

They say it comes in three!

And when the invitation from Visit Great Yarmouth came offering the opportunity to enjoy all the charm of the East Coast location, I decided to indulge in a bit of immersion therapy and try to shake off the hoodoo of previous misadventures by the sea.

And that’s how, bird-based hotel room chaos aside, I managed to spend the better part of the week basking in the Norfolk sunshine and soaking up the charm that Great Yarmouth has to offer.

My friend Ryan and I arrived and immediately left for the Prom Hotel, where the view could not have been better – the rural charm of the fair that looked great from one window, while from the other, the golden sand of the beach and the vast expanse. from the North Sea unfurled before you.

The same view of the North Sea is presented at the first meal of the evening, at the Imperial Hotel, walking along the promenade.

Frankly, with the way the terrace restaurant looks to the sea, they could serve anything and we would still ask for seconds, but luckily the steak is as pleasing to the taste as it is to the eye. .

We have decided to Bookend a more traditional sea activity (which, more later) with two slightly different excursions, so that the second day of our fun starts a few miles inland, north of Great Yarmouth in the small village of Martham – where we hired a boat to take out on the broads Norfolk.

These boats, though big and powerful, are built for comfort rather than speed, and there’s certainly something to be said for appreciating the slower pace of life as you cruise through the famous waterways of the broads at a clip of about 5 miles each. hour.

Ryan and I took turns to steer, one at the wheel while the other enjoyed soaking up the sun and feeling like a true sailor by waving at bemused passers-by.

After a few pints in Martham and the front of the coastal bus, we were hit with the only major snag of the holiday, the trio of pigeons that had sneaked in.

Luckily a few flapping wings weren’t enough to deter two sturdy Scots, and I didn’t like the rumor that Ryan and I were just scared off by the more daring hotel staff removing our furry friends.

After exploring the broads and the less traditional side of Yarmouth, we decided over the next two days to really throw ourselves into the trademark of a classic English beach holiday.

To that end, we spent the morning at the Sea Life center, which may not have the profile of some big city locations, but still has enough sharks, exotic fish, and even penguins to keep the kids, and the big kids, entertained. .

From there, they had lunch at Sara’s Tea Rooms, an old cafe right on the sea front, which is the clubhouse of ‘Pirates Cove Adventure Golf’, the crazy golf course that bears its name. suggest, a nautical theme with original water features.

The same theme emerged on the third day, when we set aside a day to visit the adrenaline jewel in Great Yarmouth’s crown – Pleasure Beach.

There are different types of rides there, traditional roller coasters, spinning-rides, and the inevitable ‘drop zone’.

But the ‘Ghost Ship’ is our personal highlight, a pendulum-style ride that’s just high enough to offer panoramic views of the sea before gravity brings you back down to earth.

And ghosts dominate the proceedings in the upcoming ‘Fairground Frights’, a week of Halloween-themed entertainment in October, with all the usual thrills and spills added by costumed actors, spookier rides, and scary mazes.

As my visit was in June, I was struck by how year-round it feels, and how places like Great Yarmouth can change with the seasons, although the sheer allure of sun and sand might make you think it’s just a summer destination. .

It was around the time of the third ice cream that I started to think that I was giving seaside towns a bad rep.

There have been column inches written about its apparent demise, but after a few days of walking up and down the quayside, happily assaulted by trilling arcade machines and wafts of fish and chip steam, it seems very businesslike. as always in Great Yarmouth.

For the last activity, Ryan and I decided to go away from the sea a little longer on a trip to Great Yarmouth race course.

Having attended several events at Ayr Racecourse in Scotland, it reminded me of this very well – big enough to feel like you’re having a proper day at the races, but small enough that you don’t feel overwhelmed and overwhelmed. still a friendly atmosphere.

And just in case you thought my luck by the sea had changed – I’ve got the losing betting slip to prove it’s not all roses.

So while I’ll always be alert and looking at the skyline when I go to a coastal town, Great Yarmouth has really changed my view of seaside towns – there’s more variety than I’d ever imagined, and a great sense of adaptability attests to that. old-fashioned charm.

I will definitely be back. I’ll just be careful with the pigeons.

This visit is organized by Visit Great Yarmouth. Ross and Ryan stayed on Prom Hotelwhere prices start at £125 for bed and breakfast.

Trains from London via Norwich with Greater Anglia start at £13 one way.

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