How to avoid row over reclining airplane seats

Many of us have been there, locked in a metal cylinder flying at more than 500mph (804km/h), gritting our teeth about the armrest of the person on the left hogging.

Or the person next to the window who keeps getting up to go to the toilet, or the person in front who suddenly puts down their seat, shaking their knees.

With around half of UK households flying once a year, people’s behavior on planes is a constant bugbear.

And this week a The Hong Kong pair were banned by Cathay Pacific after the tension flared over the reclined chair.

So, how do you avoid getting into the bad books of travelers?

Having to put your seat back on a long-haul flight can be frustrating – but it seems to affect Brits and Americans to varying degrees.

A 2023 survey by Skyscanner on the issue showed that 40% of people in the UK are harassed at any time, but a YouGov survey earlier this year suggested that only a quarter of Americans thought it was unacceptable.

Whatever the percentage, reclining seats are “really a problem”, according to Charmaine Davies, a former flight attendant.

He said cabin crew sometimes had to step in to avoid anger among passengers.

The fundamental problem is how airlines inflate seats on planes, according to Prof. Jim Salzman of the University of California, Los Angeles. “(Airlines) can transmit the anger and frustration of cramped seats to passengers who blame bad behavior rather than the airline that created the problem in the first place.”

William Hanson, etiquette trainer and author, said it is a matter of choosing the time to recline the seat, which should not be done during the meal. Make sure the person behind you is leaning on a desk, or using a laptop – then sit down slowly.

If in doubt just talk to the passengerssaid. Don’t expect him to be a mind reader.

Another complaint related to the amount of space available on board is the double armrest hogging.

Mary, a flight attendant with a major US airline, said she was often given the middle seat between “two guys with their arms around each other” when she was transferred for work and had no seat choice.

Nearly a third of UK airline passengers will find this annoying by 2023, a Skyscanner survey suggests.

Mary has “tussle with elbows”, she said, but has a strategy to reclaim space.

“I waited until I got to drink and took the armrest. One (man) kept trying to push my arm, and I just had to look: ‘We don’t do that today.’

To overcome any tension, Mr Hanson says people need to know they have “elbows” rather than armrests, and share them.

Many of us will be familiar with the dilemma of being in a window seat and needing to go to the toilet, but the person next to you is already asleep.

Do you nudge them to wake up, or climb over them?

More than half of Americans who responded to a YouGov survey said having to climb over the person in the seat next to them to go to the toilet was unacceptable.

Mr Hanson said he usually had an aisle seat, and before going to bed, he told the passenger next to him that it was okay for him to get up or jump up if necessary.

If you’re sitting in a middle or window seat, you should slow down so the passenger in the aisle seat knows you have to pass them — but let them know you don’t speak the same language, he advises.

If passengers have been drinking alcohol, they may need to go to the toilet more often.

Zoe, a former flight attendant with Virgin Atlantic, was on a flight to Ibiza on a different carrier where many passengers had been drinking in airport bars before, she said.

As soon as the plane took off and the seat belt lights went off, “everybody stood up” and started queuing for the toilet. Some got “pretty aggressive,” he said, prompting the cabin crew to turn on the seat belt sign again, forcing everyone to sit down.

Unfortunately, one passenger really couldn’t wait to have to “have a wee in the carrier bag”.

“He put some swimming shorts on there first to soak it up,” said Zoe.

Around a third of Brits find people standing up when the plane is inconvenient, a Skyscanner survey shows.

“Stay in your seat,” former flight attendant Ms Davies said. “There’s no point in jumping because you’re not going anywhere.”

It usually takes a few minutes for the ground crew to connect the passenger bridge or put down the aircraft ladder.

Even after that, once you’ve checked your luggage, you have to wait until you get to the carousel, he said, “no matter how fast you get off the plane”.

Mr. Hanson said that in terms of etiquette, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get up to stretch your legs, and that people may just want to get off because they are unconsciously a little scared of being on a plane.

But he added that it was “vaguely funny” when people all woke up at the same time and then “stood like lemons”.

Other pet peeves of air passengers include people who jump the queue, use phones or other devices without headphones, have long hair behind the seat, and take off their shoes or socks on the plane.

If you know a flight attendant is using a spray to “spritz” a plane near you, you might want to put on socks or deodorant, says Mary, because cabin crew won’t say anything directly.

But as air travel continues to evolve, how do we get more passengers on board?

The important thing is that everyone weighs in, Mr Hanson said.

“If you don’t want to temper your behavior to get along with other people, there’s something wrong with you, be blunt.”